Before we talk about Shohei Ohtani‘s historic day, let’s first enjoy this:
The best take https://t.co/nki2nFBxZ6
— Razzball (@Razzball) September 19, 2024
There’s no take greater. The best take possibly ever. Sorta like how Shohei Ohtani had one of the best games ever, while also achieving a 50/50 season. He is absurd. Shohei is the first player to have 17 total bases while not hitting four homers. “Damn straight!” That’s Mark Whiten.
He also did it with two steals — A triple slam (49, 50, 51) and double legs (50, 51) while going 6-for-6 with 4 runs and 10 RBIs. That’s better than Bo Bichette’s whole season! Is Shohei Ohtani’s 50/50 year the greatest season ever? I don’t know. Watching at home, Ronald Acuña Jr. shakes his head, “So stupid to go 40/70. I should’ve stopped at 50 steals.” Shohei Ohtani leads the major leagues in steals and homers in the 2nd half. Next year, he could win the Cy Young. This guy might just be better than Christian Bethancourt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jake Burger – 1-for-3 and his 27th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Burger hits home runs protein-style.
Griffin Conine – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. First guy to homer thanks to his 23 and Me profile.
Edward Cabrera – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.12. Randy Dobnak wouldn’t be caught dead driving an Ed-Cab.
Jorge Soler – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 20th homer. “Hey, when did we get Soler and Ramon Laureano (2-for-5, 3 RBIs, and his 9th homer) and how are they playing over Acuña?” Comatose Braves Fan, don’t start, please.
Michael Harris II – 3-for-5, 4 runs, 4 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer, four homers in four games. “Wait, Harris is playing in the OF too? I’ve been foggy-in-the-brain since I woke after five months, but if we’re scoring 15 runs while playing Whit Merrifield at 2nd over Albies and Urshela over Riley, then I like our chances! Hey, why’s everyone tiptoeing away from me? I wanna talk about my favorite team!”
Matt Olson – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 27th and 28th homer, three homers in the last three games. “Hey, is that a typo in the box score? How does Olson only have 28 homers? Did he have an injury?” If only, CBF, if only. Harris and Olson are both going to be tough to rank next year (and Albies, Riley and Acuña). Feels like there’s going to be huge value to be had or you’re going to get to next July and be like, “I can’t believe I got roped in two years in a row to this schmohawk.” To take the Big Chicken way out, I could see all of them coming down to 2025 ADP and being interested depending on price. “Don’t forget Spencer Strider! Right? Seriously, why can’t people make eye contact with me?”
Chris Sale – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.38. After he wins the NL Cy Young, and he will be winning it, is Sale a HOFer? I’m fine with it, but, boy, do we need to lower starter standards for the Hall. If Sale gets in, it will be with around 150 to 160 wins.
Zack Littell – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.56. Beginning to think the Red Sox hitting is slumping. Is it a Sox thing?
Brayan Bello – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.49. Am I going back in on Bello next year? Unlikely, but, I have to admit, if he has a great 2025, it would not shock me.
Taijuan Walker – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 6.91. Is Taijuan still under contract with the Mets?
Pete Alonso – 1-for-4 and his 34th homer. Albombso!
Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer, and 2nd homer in two games. As cold as the Red Sox hitting is, that’s how hot the Mets are. Also, in this game, Mark Vientos (2-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 25th homer. That’s in just 103 games! Francisco Alvarez (1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Lindor goes down and the Mets get incredibly hot. To motivate like that while you’re not on the field? Maybe he is the NL MVP.
Kyle Manzardo – 3-for-3 and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in the last four games. Won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but might be a light schmotato for power, but he’s in a platoon, which I don’t love.
Joey Cantillo – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.63. I curse the quick hook. I put my evil eye on the quick hook. I stew up a frog’s teat and a witch’s toe in a cauldron and voodoo the quick hook.
Simeon Woods Richardson – 4 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.00, and out after 72 pitches. I bite a head off a chicken and put the hooey on the quick hook.
Garrett Mitchell – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in five games, and will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he’s been on a scorcher for a few.
Brandon Pfaadt – 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.66. I guess we should’ve trusted the Streamonator. Dah!
Pavin Smith – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer. [Guy who picks up Pavin Smith right after his 3-homer game, holds him for a week, gets nothing, drops him yesterday, shakes fist at sky, vows to never forget the name Pavin Smith] “I’ve never heard of Pavin Smith,” he says as he lies.
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 1-for-4 and a slam (23) and legs (37). Member when the Marlins had to go out of their way to tell other teams that Jazz wasn’t a clubhouse issue and other teams should be happy to have him? They weren’t lying!
Clarke Schmidt – 5 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.37. I could see a scenario where Schmidt is the Yanks’ best starter next year. ACKSUALLY, I’d kinda be surprised if he’s not.
Logan Gilbert – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.24. Drafting an all-Mariners staff next year does not sound like a bad idea.
Erick Fedde – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.38. Solid season from Fedde, and will be totally free next year.
Brendan Donovan – 4-for-4, 2 RBIs, hitting .277. Homered the previous game, four-hit night and hot schmotato alert!
Seiya Suzuki – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer. Seiya ball!
CJ Abrams – 4-for-5, 2 runs and his 30th and 31st steal, hitting .247. To drive home the point further, Abrams has 31 steals on the year; Ohtani has 29 in the 2nd half.
Taylor Ward – 1-for-4 and his 25th homer. That ball was a Ward of the state! Good home run call? No? Okay.
Yusei Kikuchi – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.19. Yusei, should’ve been an easy win, but I got a no decision. Okay, technically that’s more what I sei’d.
Logan Webb – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.58. Webb will be drafted next year around the top 20 starters; Wacha around the top 50 starters. Wacha is above Webb on the Player Rater.
Michael Conforto – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot Confortato alert!
Zach Eflin – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.53. Six innings? What do we owe the pleasure?! So, I looked at Streamonator to see if Eflin will get two more starts or one, and I think it’s one, and it’s not great.
Seranthony Dominguez – 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.37. O’s watching the Phillies relievers never closing a game, “I want that for us.”
Anthony Santander – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 42nd homer. If anyone on the O’s should be Seranthony, it should be Santander and if anyone should be JesterAnthony, it’s Dominguez.
Kumar Rocker – 3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.57. A silly little call-up in September shouldn’t mean anything, but it’s hard not to look at Mark Leiter and Kumar Rocker and see two guys who are gonna be 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER and 94 pitches per start next year. With Ks though! Absolutely.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 3-for-4, 3 runs and his 29th and 30th homer, hitting .322. Cake Batter isn’t just the top 1st baseman on the Player Rater, but it’s not even close. It’s basically Cake and five 1st basemen way off his lead.
Kevin Gausman – 5 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.91. Left with a no-hitter and 58 pitches thrown, because he had back tightness. He should shut it down for the year and count this as going out on top. Have a victory celebration every day of the offseason for his five-inning no-hitter. Get a Fudgie The Whale and eat just the cookie crumbs. Just real sicko stuff.
Bo Bichette – Hit the IL with a fractured finger. He played one game. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH–[wheezing, coughing, falling over, dead]
